Tatoos: proof that some of us just don't listen.

There are two things that, should you be listening at all, suggest that a tattoo is not a great investment in yourself.
Now, in keeping with my policy this is NOT an opinion or judgment. I have a lot of inked friends that I care for very much and no amount of tattooing would change the way I feel about them.

No, this is not about the efficacy of tattoos, only the apparent logic, reason or flight from them. I was reading earlier today that 25-30% of adults under the age of 30 have tattoos. This doesn't surprize me at all, if you spend time at the waterpark near my house (dorneyparkdotcom) you'd guess a much higher percentage.

The first is Professor Mc Monkey McBeane -- a character from one of the deepest wells of wisdom the average child is likely to encounter: Dr. Suess.

Dr. Suess was a genius (again, observation, not opinion) and among the many didactic works he graced us with "The Star-bellied Sneetches" delivers a profound message, the truth contained seems to ring louder by the day.

In this story we have two classes of Sneetches (on the beaches) those with and those without stars on their bellies. The non-starred Sneetches suffered from horrible discrimination that all came to an end when Professor Mc Bean brought his wonderful Star-On machine... for a small fee the one rejected starless Sneetch could acquire his or her mark and cast off their oppression.

What happens is a history repeating itself as I compose this entry: once the starless Sneetches have stars, the cachet is lost and Professor McBean offers to REMOVE stars from the previously superior star-bellied Sneetches, for just a few bucks. And thus begins the cycle until all the Sneetch cash is in the pocket of Prof. McBean.

Have you heard the ads for tattoo removal? Are they running them during LA Ink, or Miami Ink? I think the article I read mentioned the "cover-up" is a big issue for wedding shops and that there is a $30 make-up kit expressly for this purpose. What really brings this to mind is that "Wrecking Balm" has become a major advertiser on one of my favorite radio stations. It just seems like there is a pretty good business in tattoo obliteration.

While the love of Mom is probably worthy of that sort of posterity, it sure seems like a lot of people have other loves that faded much more quickly than their tattoo proclaiming it.

Now, I've probably exposed myself as an old fart with this rant, but I'll seal that deal with this second observation: Popeye aside, what old dude with a tattoo has encouraged you?

Among those friends I mention with tattoos are many my senior to whom I ascribe considerable wisdom. Now, I don't go about surveying my friends about their tattoos, but as many times as it comes up with my older friends there is an expression of regret or minor disdain. The body they put the tattoo on has changed, and the tattoo has changed with it. I've seen illegible designs, but mostly just blurry ones that probably looked very crisp a few decades ago.

It's interesting to me that people get tattoos as a permanent memento (great movie by the way, tattoos played an integral part in the plot) and yet the medium is far from permanent. To be certain, you can go to your grave with the tattoo, but like the proverbial river, it won't be the same tattoo.

Something I shared with some friends in my motorcycle club -- if you're going to do this, be a big spender and find a friend who attended a reputable art school, or is generally so picky they annoy the heck out of you. It's also possible that the best tattoo artist in your town is one of the worst in the country, for pete's sake, shop around.

But, my best observation, listen to your Doctor (Suess) and to grandpa and his friends.